Funny Out Of Office Messages !

Compiled from the net for your reading pleasure, these funny 'OOO' messages can add that sparkle to your response. We however take no responsibility for the outcome of using one of these messages... he he :P 

Credits : Google Images

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position because I will have to come back to this job. Be prepared for my mood.
2. I will be unable to delete all the unread, emails you send me until I Return from holiday. Please be patient and your e-mail will be deleted In the order it was received.
3. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged Rs.999 for the first ten words and Rs 99 for each additional word in your Message.
4. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the Office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't receive any response at all.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.(The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
6. I've run away to join a different circus.
7. I am away from the office at this moment. I will still be away from the office at the next moment and returning at a later moment. If you have any issues at the current moment, and they cannot wait until a later moment, please contact my manager, who may actually be away at the moment.
8. I am currently out of the office. I have a cell phone, but I will not be giving it to you. If you can guess the number, I will take your call. 
9. Am at the dentists. Oh the pain !! Oh forget it ... what is it you were saying again ? Reach out at ________________ or don't ! ...The pain ...the pain ! 
10. I'm on vacation. If you can't reach me, please don't think I'm dead, especially if you're from payroll (if you're not from payroll, I don't really care what you think. Except you, boss). During my vacation, I will ignore most of my incoming emails. Why? Because being on vacation, I'm likely to be frolicking on a beach or something, and reading emails is incompatible with frolicking. I MAY read your email, but try not to hold your breath. If your request is important, please email me again after I return. (This is a really long one na ?) In case of an absolute emergency that requires my immediate attention, my teammates know how to contact me. Bribe them. Tell them they look beautiful. Say they look almost as attractive as me. Examples of "absolute emergency" include: You are the President, You are Elvis, You urgently want to give me a billion dollars,  You discovered that I'm The One, and you must find me before the Agents to give me that "blue pill, red pill" speech, All of the above.

Seven Ways to Reward Employees @ Work

No matter if your organization is big or small … it is your People that make up a business. And it is their collective efforts that determine your success. It is also true that Recognition and a timely pat on the back go a long way in keeping them happy and in turn with your organization. Compensation is what an employee receives for doing the job he had been hired for but Recognition is an honor for the efforts put in beyond the boundaries of duty.

A lot of organizations, however, look at rewards and recognition purely as a cost line. While the emphasis of being cost-effective cannot be undermined, it is also a great challenge to be cost effective and come up with unique ways to reward employees. Here’s one such humble attempt… 7 ways to reward employees J

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7. Birthdays are always special to every individual. Although for some it’s about getting old, it still is a day of celebration. Give your employees a paid day off on their birthdays. If momentary work pressure does not allow you to do so, then, arrange for a nice office birthday party. A small cake and some flowers and balloons can make your employee feel really special. Give him a day off some other time.

6. Respect your employees’ needs. You might ask how this is a reward? Every individual is bound to have family commitments. They might need to attend someone near and dear in the hospital, or for that matter pick up their children from school on a specific day, or, need to attend some very important family occasion. Value their commitments, for they in turn will value you.

5. The least expensive and one of the best rewards you can give your employee is a ‘Thank You’. These two simple words can make your employee feel great. This can be a really good reward for an employee as he understands that the company has recognized his/her hard work. On a monthly basis, hand out badges to the performer of the month. Allow them to carry the smile. Even address them by calling them ‘a champion’

4. One can also, occasionally, make arrangements for a dinner party. Invite your employees' families over to office without letting them know. This can be a sweet surprise.

3. Let co-workers write something they truly like or admire about the best performer. Then put them all together on a scrap paper along with an office group photograph and give it to him/her. This can be a truly likeable yet inexpensive gift.

2. When an employee does something really worthwhile for the company, ask the entire staff to give him a good round of applause at a meeting. Nothing works better! This however will not work if you choose to give someone critical advice on their performance in front of a group!

1. Pay it forward! Ask the managerial position holders to write secret hand-written notes of appreciation to their subordinates who have performed well. This will not only keep the employee guessing but also will ensure that they are nice to everyone around (not knowing who has written them a note)

If one looks at it objectively, all Employees expect is some amount of understanding, recognition and trust from their superiors. Once you understand this and act accordingly, the office becomes a much better place to work.

© Never Grow Up. All rights reserved. 

Getting the Best out of your Team !

Teamwork is integral to the success of any organisation. It has a huge impact on the performance of any enterprise. It is said that Teamwork can make or break an organisation. Contrarily, a bad team can cause unwanted disruptions and strategic failures. Team building is a process that requires attention and care. The emphasis on process and not an annual offsite or a town hall. Two very important factors in efficient team formation are a well thought out team orientation process and a clear team charter. When the members of a team properly understand what they are supposed to do and how they are supposed to do it has an impact on their performance. 


When you start work with your team, it can be helpful if you set a small rule-book of your own. Spend about 20 to 30 minutes with your team and collectively create a Code of Conduct. It can be a good way to welcome new members. Supervising a team of grown up adults is really not an easy task. A team consists of different people with different temperaments, different behavioural traits, different specialities and varying work ethics.Thus, conflict can be an inevitable consequence of teamwork. Allowing such differences to get out of hand causes unnecessary disruptions and leads to breakdowns in working relationships. Team members and more importantly team leaders should have basic knowledge of conflict resolution.

Credits : Google Images

Since a group comprises of adults, it is very important that as a team manager you behave accordingly. All your team members have intelligence, creativity and imagination. You can make the best use of these resources by showing them that you value their opinion.

To get the best out of your team at work you must practice all that you preach. If you ask your team members to come to office on time, you must be punctual yourself. Try to be a team member rather than being a leader. Work with your team. It is advisable that you do not try to boss around.

Prove you are superior to your team members through your work and not through your attitude or designation. Be inspiring not intimidating. Each member in your team should be able to come up to you and give in their ideas without the fear of being insulted or humiliated or being turned down rudely. Let everyone speak. It is wise not to allow a few to dominate the group. If that happens, it is the responsibility of a team leader to provide everyone with equal opportunity in a team.

Welcome comments and suggestions from your team members. Even when you give some ideas, allow your team members to give their comments to make it better.

Every team will almost inevitably have people who are introvert. Help them to express themselves.

Allow breaks. Both the human body and the brain need some rest. A small recess after a fruitful session of hard work does not hurt. It is rejuvenating and would help your team members perform better. The biggest hindrances to progressive work can be miscommunication between the team and internal creative conflicts, which eventually and certainly lead to lower collective output and poor results. A tired and stressed team cannot produce results. Under such circumstances a team leader can bring back the focus of the team by reinforcing the collective goal.

A very effective method of improving people’s performance is by providing information to team members about individual performance and the overall performance of the team. Care should be taken that this information is not conveyed in a manner that causes resentment or animosity. Do not point out individual drawbacks in front of the whole team. Discuss separately with each member of your team. Comparison within a team can lead to bitterness among team members.

Although there is no ‘I’ in a team, it is crucial to understand that a team is made up of individuals. Building and honing the skills in individuals that are congruent with the needs of the team are critical to the good performance of a team. Collaborating and understanding the key issues facing the team is also very important. Cohesion ensures that members in a team work collectively towards the same goal. Finally, when a project is complete, do not forget to say ‘Thank You’ to your team members and appreciate their hard work. Do not forget to celebrate the success !!!

To Bunk or Not to Bunk !

With interesting Cricket World Cup matches around the corner, you may find yourself in the eternal dilemma ' To Bunk Work or Not to Bunk ' . In case you have had a tough time deciding, here are some excuses to Bunk work ! Looks like attendance will be low this Wednesday :P  

Before we share the list remember the things you need to give a solid excuse i.e. 

1. Confidence - Don't falter while talking. If necessary rehearse. You can sound sick... but that too with confidence. 
2. Be realistic - The dog cannot eat the research document on your laptop. Also, if you are strong enough to travel 30 kms to the nearest doctor and come back alone, you can pretty much make it to work. 
3. Cover your tracks - Some people tend to go all out to check if you are lying so remember to use these at your own risk :P

• My Mind and Body are in constant conflict since morning. Mind wants me to attend work, but my body wants to chill ! Guess my Body won the fight :)
• I have a terrible Back ache, can I work from home today ?
• Allergic Reactions to exotic jelly fish you made me eat last week at the office party.
• You have the biggest attack of Loose Motions ever !!! 
• You are locked in your own car hence reachable on phone :)
• You were all dressed and on your way to work and you twisted your ankle. You should be back in action tomorrow.
• Your closest maternal-aunts first cousins-sister's best friend has met with an accident and you are the SOS Contact !
• Your imaginary friend has just found kryptonite and you need to check if Superman exists ! 
• Your local neighborhood SERIAL KILLER is waiting for you outside your door and it would therefore, be detrimental to your security to try to get to work
• If you move and inch from your Loo, your team looses the match . Cite examples of the last 4 world cups :) 
• Your 5 year old cousin has accidentally 'super glued ' you to the couch !

P.S. This list is brought to you in collaboration with the oh so imaginary Department of Dummy Excuses !

The Thing About Employer Branding !

To set the ball rolling, Employer branding can be defined as all the operations carried out by a business to create and communicate its own identity to a target group composed of candidates and employees, so that the brand attracts and holds onto these subjects in line with the corporate culture and values. 

Credits : Google Images

The Employee Is the Customer

Over the last few years, employees are increasingly behaving like consumers when choosing to join or stay with an employer. It states that a positive employer brand can be a way of differentiating one organization from another and a way of creating a strong, distinctive and attractive identity with which current or potential employees can identify. This brings us to a set of questions and things what one also needs to look at i.e. How strong is your product? Will it survive the expectation of the ever so changing consumer?

 

The Need to Create an Employer Brand
If we look at an employee as someone out to buy a TV set and the employer as the brand, the question is...what do you look for while buying a TV? Why do you prefer a certain brand over another? That also brings us to a fundamental question of, what does your existing and potential talent pool think about you? Why would someone want to work with you? Is there a certain perception about you as a company in the minds of existing and potential employees? With a shrinking talent pool, increasing cost of talent acquisition and fierce competition, there is an increasing need to become an employer of choice for people. A company that people want to work with! Think of a company that is flooded with requests in the ‘careers’ section with people wanting desperately to work with & you get the picture. If the above holds true, you need to ensure that you are doing the right things to get through to people at all levels...and to that effect having a concrete Employer Branding Strategy in place is critical.

Find this interesting ?
 For a copy of the entire article on insights into Employer Branding, share your details on this link: http://tinyurl.com/EB2011 ~ We will email you a copy asap ! 
© Never Grow Up. All rights reserved. 

What are we all about ?

The Never Grow Up Company Presentation

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Cube Farm ~ A funny take on Life @ Work !

Presenting Cube Farm from Never Grow Up ~ 

Cube Farm is a derisive vernacular term for featureless, modern open office designs which consist of seemingly endless rows of identical office cubicles. Cube farm is a tribute to the desk jockey, the hard worker, the cube monkey! To the person who loves or hates their boss, their job, their consumer driven existence and to our cat (if we have one)! Presenting a few fun products to make your workplace a lot more fun!

Starting off with Office Magnets ! At a size of 2 X 2.5 inches, these magnets are small enough to hide at your desk and big enough to help you make your point! Put these in the office space you work for your entry into the ‘cool dudes at work’ category :) To check out the funny side to work or shop online log on to http://willnevergrowup.com/shop  to check out all products :)

Presenting Fun Vouchers from Never Grow Up™

In case you are wondering what we are up to with this offering...It’s time to look beyond the obvious food coupons and clothing GVs to reward employees or to gift friends we say!

Presenting Fun Vouchers from Never Grow Up™

Reward your colleague for a job well done, gift this to a friend or use this to ‘pataao’ your better half! Available in denominations of 500, 1000 & 1500 and valid for 6 months, these Fun Vouchers can be used by the recipient for the specified value at any of our public workshops (These range from photography sessions, learning archery, fun with finances, pottery, creative writing, art appreciation, recycled art, bartending and cocktails workshops, theatre, music, dance and many more...) That’s not all, you can also use these vouchers to redeem quirky and fun merchandise from any our affiliates from the Fun stuff section on our website or even spend it to redo your office space!

We like... We buy... We gift!

Its simple, drop us a line at funstuff@willnevergrowup.com with your contact details and we will take it from there. What say ?

Get ready for the first Monday in 2011 :)

The New Year has begun! While the hangovers may have gone, the party spirit lives on. As we approach the first Monday of 2011, for all those going back to work ... here's a little something to spruce up your Life @ Work and make it fun! 11 brand new Office dares to do in 2011! Each dare gets you 5 points. Go ahead and make the most of this... while you can :)

# Put post-its all over your boss’s desk saying My Boss Bestest! (Extremely relevant if you have quarterly appraisals)

# Set up a mini golf kit @ work and shout ‘Goaaall’ every time you succeed.

# On a particular day, shake hands with everyone you see and say ‘Subah Ho Gayi Mamu’

# For one week, during lunch hour, in the cafeteria, clap once every five minutes!

# Send flowers to yourself and blush every time someone asks you about it!

# At the water cooler, tear the paper cups to make a collage that says ‘I know what you did on New Year’s. Give me 1 Million dollars’ # Now write your email below the collage ~ 10 points.

# During a staff meeting, fold your legs on the chair and go ‘Whooosaaa... breathe...breathe...this is just a test’

# Juggle stuff while talking to your colleagues. 5 points extra if you can do this while talking to your boss!

# Staple every single page in the weekly forecast report and hand over copies to everyone.

# Put up a huge red ribbon around your head (or a bandanna) for one whole day and say ‘I am Superman. The King of Gondor’ when someone asks you why you are doing this.

P.S: While we take no responsibility of what may happen to you in the days to come, feel free to reach out if you can think of more dares:) © Never Grow Up. All rights reserved.

My Workspace ~ My Style !

It’s a fact that most of us work long hours... sometimes six days a week ~ ten hours straight!  And then we go to sleep! Which means that majority of the time we are awake is spent in our little cubicle (or a corner office if you have one). If most of the time we are awake is spent at office, why should that space be boring? Presenting...

What’s this all about?

If your work involves sitting in front of the computer screen for all your working hours then this is for you. My Workspace is a super cool service where you can get us to design or decorate your cubicle or office space based on your personality and liking. You tell us a bit about yourself and we come back with ideas to design your workspace – your style without making any structural changes to your cubicle. (We do understand that your company already has a fixed layout and that your boss is okay with this).

Sounds interesting... How do we begin?

To us, each cubicle is special :) Click here !  to get started by telling us a bit about yourself. The next step would be to send us a photo of your cubicle or office and we will take it from there! If you are not really sure of what all this entails, feel free to write to us at myworkspace@willnevergrowup.com with your contact details and we will get back :)

How do I make this work for my office and team?

For starters, share this with your boss and the HR Team :)

If you are part of the HR team, of course we can implement this for the entire office. If you have the desire to make your office a cool space to be in (also be spoken about), all you gotta do is  give us a brief (and a budget) or just ask us how we can turn your office around so that your employees look forward to coming to work on a Monday. After all, they do spend most of their time in the week at work!

Turning every staff member into a ‘daughter-in-law’?

Sometime back a Director of multi locational organization posed a question to me… He said, “Can you tell me why an employee doesn’t ever feel that he ‘belongs’ where he/she is working..? What is it that you would suggest we do to make the staff feel that they are the integral part of the company and it is not merely a place where they come to earn their money so that they can go back and relax…?”

I feared that we were on a philosophical travel and wanted the discussion to come back to the topic of training modules which we had begun discussing.He gave me an example (in the Indian Context) “The new daughter in law comes to a new set up just because she is married to this man. She, as the tradition goes, changes her name, and wipes out her previous identity in a manner of speaking. But then instead of getting lonely, she begins asserting her role. She begins clearly conveying what changes she is seeking within the household, encouraging new practices and discouraging some existing ones. Why can’t an employee who spends nearly a third of his life in the office? Doesn’t it ever to occur to the staff (generally speaking) that the job is the reason why they can assert themselves in their personal endeavours…as a husband, brother, sister, wife, whatever and then the very well being of their families depend on this ’job’?”

It has been almost over 5 years since the conversation took place. But that had set me off to find out what contributed to the gentleman’s statement. My company conducted independent surveys, did some systematic research, spoke to HR professionals, promoters of a few organizations, and even studied the cultural changes that were happening in the Indian society in general and the Indian professional settings in particular. The first thing that we noticed was that the Indian professional environment had drastically changed as the Indian shores were opening up to globalization and had seen a sudden influx of young professionals who had entered the scenario armed with business specializations

This paradigm shift created a ‘do or die’ philosophy in the erstwhile almost laid back business practices. As the global practices began finding routes, concepts of multi tasking, 24 x 7 availability of working executives via the internet became standard norms. However, we also realized that while the highlight was on performance, somewhere along the line the concept of human element was taking the back seat. As highly professional HR tools were employed almost nobody noticed the phasing out of this most vital element of the Indian Social fabric. The ‘paralysus respectus’ for these imported models was so high that human element was considered to be an outdated Indian idiosyncrasy and was often ridiculed. The earlier failures of organizations, that brought their practices here to India and tried to incorporate them without regard to the ‘Indian-ness’; went unnoticed.

At these thoughts, I always pose myself and others who might be interested in hearing me out, a question… “Why is this ‘today’s professional’ who is apparently so successful, so stressed out? And why does he/she even on the long awaited weekends and during vacations behave as if there is no tomorrow… trying to grab at as much as he/she can?”

I always wonder if someone will give me a really truthful answer rather than the standard lip service about how much more stress & competition exists presently and how a weekend is really needed..? To understand their view point, I went on a family weekend with other young professionals & their families. And let me tell you I felt as if we were on a roller coaster even when we were ‘supposed’ to be having a couple of drinks and dinner! By the time we returned I was exhausted! And I am not saying there were any physically demanding activities…in fact there were none whatsoever! That is when one realized that presently we have become so stressed out in what is supposed to be a joy…our work, our profession; that we have stopped looking for joy in what we do! Has it then remained only a means to earn money so that we can have all the trappings and weekends when we all claw at what is available and ‘purchasable’? Have we ever sat back and tried to ‘understand’ how we really feel on a Monday morning after the so called ‘weekend’?

Only last month a HR manager asked me what can I do in the areas of stress management. She also explained that the organizations’ staff had obviously undergone a few stress management modules that included outdoor activities like rock climbing, and such other adventure sports. Nothing wrong really… For, such extreme physical activities are a great stress buster.

While all these activities are good for the desired result, aren’t these kind of ‘for-the-time-being-solutions’?

Shouldn’t stress management like any other training; begin at the ‘Beginning’ with ever HR Manager asking the question, “How can I turn every staff member into a ‘daughter-in-law’? I know it is a slow process but then, an employee is an asset to be nurtured for a longer race… Till then, here is the write up

Submission and author : Vishwas Vaishampayan ~ Creative Ventures, Pune for Never Grow Up

http://www.willnevergrowup.com

We are a company into fun Workshops, Merchandise and soon to launch - a club but really serious about having fun. For us, Never Grow Up is a mindset that transcends across generations. so go ahead...keep the child within alive, live that dream, pursue that hobby, stop and smell the roses...relive those moments and yes...have a lot of fun in the process!

The real life they say is out of the box...and our logo symbolizes just that ! We live our lives in a box...a routine... a schedule... waiting... waiting for that much needed break... living Friday to Friday :) This is for anyone who does or does not want to grow up. For someone who Still loves secretly loves cartoons, is a fan of Animation Movies, loves to read Comics (old and new) ... is a bit looney...well.. a bit crazy.

www.willnevergrowup.com I www.facebook.com/makeworkfun